Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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