Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
