Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
