so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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