Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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