some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
