I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
