Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
