My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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