I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the liver wants what the liver wants
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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