it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
