that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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