I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
