Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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