please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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