Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
