I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
