Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Everclear isn't food dammit
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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