How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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