So drunk its hurt
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Panties = found
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
