did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
