White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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