I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
