So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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