it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
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OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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