If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize