she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
