I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
