Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
