They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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