Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
