Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
