I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
