I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I love having hate sex.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
