Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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