Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A+ Viking dick
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
