wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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