there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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