so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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