so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
