i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
