that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
