you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
