Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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