Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
