Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
