Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
