They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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