he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
