yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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