i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
