i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
