rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
