He is such a slut. More and more my type.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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