shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
