I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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