Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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