i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
