My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
