Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
