The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
